3 Things To Do When Friends And Family Don’t Support Your Career…

mindset Jul 06, 2022

Study hard, grow up, get a good job, buy a house, get married and start your family. That’s how most of us are taught to live our lives… then along comes us! Mum… I wanna be a musician … at that point, some of us are lucky to have the support of family and friends and others… well, not so much!

One of my artist friends in the music industry posted an Instagram story this week because she is really excited that she has new music coming out. Now, this artist is quite a decorated artist, with lots of radio play, chart spots, big award nominations and overall, I would say she has a very successful music career. So she posted one of those “yes or no” interactive things on Instagram and asked who was looking forward to her releasing her new music and one of her family friends clicked “no”. So she took to Instagram and said, you know it’s hard enough for artists as it is, let alone having to put up with family friends doing this. And as she pointed out, why click it at all? Why even look at her page…just get off! 

This stuff really pisses me off! Why do people, you know what…more than people, friends, and family put you down and not support you when they should be the first to show their support. My friend isn’t the only one! It’s a bizarre phenomenon that occurs in many artists' lives. I’ve engaged in many social media conversations from friends in the industry talking about this very thing! 

I’m not going to go through the reasons for it happening, because I actually cannot fathom a world where I didn’t support the endeavours of my family or friends. But I do want to give you three good reasons why you should ignore it and keep going anyway. 

There are three really good reasons why you should continue to chase your musical dreams regardless of what anyone says to you!

  • You are not a cat! Umm, ok… what does that mean? It means you have one freaking life! Are you really going to waste your precious time on this earth doing what others want you to do when it doesn’t fulfil you? When it really doesn’t light you up? Although I don’t like to think about death, I do know that it is inevitable, and when I do eventually finish my time on the earth, I want to look back and know that I lived life the way I wanted to. 

Most of the time, our family means well, but they are only going from their experience in life. Now the question I always ask myself is… do I want to end up like my parents? Well, for me, that’s a definite no. They were both on welfare payments. I want to break that generational cycle. But, if you have parents that have truly followed their passion, are happy and make a full-time living from what they do, then, by all means, follow their path. But again, if they are driving you away from following your passion, then don’t listen! You do you! 

  • Giving up will affect you in more ways than you realise! There is this saying, “how you do anything is how you do everything”, so I really believe that when we give up on something because we have been told that we can’t do it, it sets a precedent for how the rest of our lives will go. It tells our brains, our body and our heart that we cannot do it. This is incredibly detrimental to our self-confidence, and the more we hear it, the more we are programmed to just give in, and even more scary; eventually, we will just stop trying. 

When your confidence is beaten down so much, this affects every area of your life and eventually your overall quality of life. When you give up, you are giving up on a piece of who you are, and you will replace it with resentment. Resentment towards the people who told you that you couldn’t do it, resentment towards the people that are making their dreams happen, and resentment towards yourself, leaving you feeling like a failure. Resentment towards yourself is the most dangerous of them all.

Now, this might all sound a bit dramatic, but it’s really not. What you do each day shapes the person you are becoming and the future you are creating. So who’s future are you creating? Is it yours? Or is it the one everyone else thinks you should have?

  1. If you don’t try… you WILL fail! There is only one way to fail at this, whether you want to build a career or you just want to release a song for yourself. The only way to fail is not to try! And it’s so strange because I know so many parents that always bring their children up telling them this! Yet when they want to “try” their hand at a music career, they suddenly have a problem with it. 

The one thing that I have learnt throughout my career is that people can’t think beyond themselves. What I mean by that is if they can’t fathom achieving your goals, then they will believe that you are also not capable. But that’s total bullshit! And you know what else it is? It’s their problem, not yours! 

If anyone says anything to you about your career choice, life choice, or they bring you down for anything, then 9 times out of 10, it is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves. And you know what one of my other favourite sayings is? “What other people think about you is absolutely none of your business. So let that sink in for a moment! 

So let’s just recap! To live your best life, you must follow your dreams. Family and friends may say something, and it might be wrapped up in love and warmth and coming from a good place, or they might just be dead-set assholes, either way, you gotta do you for the three reasons above! 

  1. You’re not a cat with 9 lives! You only have one so make sure you live it to your absolute full potential.
  2. The decision to give up will affect you in so many different ways, impacting the quality of your life, and you don’t want to do that! 
  3. If you try, then you at least have a chance at making something happen. If you don’t, you’ll be forever wondering if you could. 

I’ve experienced this since I was a little girl busking during the school holidays when friends and their parents would walk past, or worse, my own family, and they would bow their heads in shame. I was just 12, and I was making more than they were in a day! So I agree; they should have been hanging their heads in shame. Like I have already said… you do you! Because everyone else is already taken! 

Let me know in the comments if you have ever had this happen to you?

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